Fertility totems and white sandy beaches

I received a weird postcard from my mother a few months ago. Not that she sends out postcards; she has been doing so on an almost regular basis since she went on vacation. It was weird because the postcard depicted 2 African fertility statues from Ripley's that were supposedly responsible for thousands of women getting pregnant simply by touching them. I wonder. Is she trying to tell me something? Hmm. Her message on the card was innocuous enough—something about sinkholes, I think. I also picked up a couple of postcards when I went to the beach last…